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Sunday, February 3, 2008
dont know if i have really fallen for you ..but my heart, really aches when , you said those hurtful things to me.i tried to ignore..to not to think or care about those nasty remarks ..but i find that i couldnt..you said i was ,.. not sincereyou said .. that i only treat you as a friend.. you said that, i dont love you ..you said that i dont have the heart toimprove myself, to make myself look prettieryou said .. you sacrifice alot for this relationship.. yet not getting the amount that you deserve..you feel, that you are being treated ,badly ,in this relationshipyou think that i dont careyou think that im just a lazy bum, who only cares about games ..you think that im a geeki tell you, im numb,so numb from all your hurtful remarks..to be honest, what u have been thinking, is WRONGnot exactly wrong, but 99.9% of it is wrong..i really wish you will be happy when .. when we are celebrating for special occasions ,like valentine ..but imagine.. like for example last year ..we spent our valentine with OPF?!so it turns out to be celebrating for friendship day instead.im like so totally turn off, and didnt have the mood to buy anything for you , or just to make you happycos im really annoyed and disappointed at the fact that you dont even wish to spend some quality time, alone with me, even if it is valentine's day. .plus, you know, im not working ..i will feel so bad , to like, spend $50 solely on your present..i will be willing to spend ,if they were my money..but unfortunately, they are not ..i feel that it will be very, bad , for me to spend so much of my parents' money plus i feel that you are going after those ,quality things .. is like , buying plushies or stuff toys seem useless to you ..and i dont really dare to buy any clothings/accessories for you ..as i dont even dare to trust my own tasteyou always say that i have bad tastethus, im afraid..you will be like questioning me, why am i buying this and that if i have bought something for youi scared you wouldnt like iti m scared of youi cant be myself , in front of youi dont dare to voice out my opinions ..fearing that you will disagree,or maybe despise me,.. some other days ..no matter what i do, you always think that im still the old ,useless mayi tried hard to improve myself..i tried to open up myself to people..i tried to doll up myself,,but have u even seen my effort?all you can see, is me ,being the old ,cowardy mayi dont know what did u fall in me, in the first placeyou oonce said that im caring and gentle towards youbut now, you said that im violent, and i dont give a damn to youhowever, in fact, i have actually been thinking what you will be doing.looking at your pic .. or even dreaming of kissing with youhaha *i laugh to myself*how would you even know what i am thinking?i dont know whats with me..i "laugh"(<-a sarcastic one) today.. upon hearing you saying that i didnt even care to spend some time to go for a haircut..haha the fact is , i have actually trimmed my hair, on saturday.. which is yesterday ..i didnt tell you that i have cut my hair today ..cos you didnt even ask if i have cut my hair.you just deem that i m lazy, to even spend some time to cut my hairyou just THINK that IM THAT KINDA persontoo bad, you gonna see the real me soonand, unfortunately, i have a ,worse, impression of you..for not being able to understand me..you are so wrong ..im so wrong ..to even ..trust, that you will know me ..ha ha ha ..='(
yammil posted 7:45 AM
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