Thursday, August 28, 2008
hais
i was kinda depressed again
YES AGAIN .. =( shes injured again ...
now is BOTH of her ankles.. kill me man.. what is seriously wrong with her?
she just dont DONT take care of herself..
she STILL chose to play caption ball, despite her ankles are in such a pathetic worst state.
i just cannot stand it anymore..
is she trying to gain attention from her friends, her classmates, or ultimately, her netballer friends ..
or is she trying to gain HER concerns .. HER attention ..
ha, she still have the cheek to ask me if she looks like shes interested in HER..what a joke.. She's like asking me the same question that i have asked her like 1 month ago ?
i even dont remember when is the very last time that we have met up
she dont care ,does she ?
so why must i bother?
i know, i should be showering her with lots of my love and such ... but hey! WOULD SHE APPRECIATE.. WOULD SHE EVEN CARE OR BOTHER..
like hell
i doubt she will bother
blah. its really fucking irritating
why am i owalse asking myself "what am i to her?"
Do i really deserve all these "mental abuse" ? Do i not deserve any bit of love from her?
or am i so unloved by anyone ..
why , why dont she appreciate me ..
why is she be so concerned about some other girl's feelings than mine ?
does she love me, or likes me as a companiance (fuck the spelling man)
=(
why dont she care?
Labels: but who cares?, cried
yammil posted 9:43 AM
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Saturday, August 23, 2008
im so tired
ahh mentally and abit of physically .. haha
actually i shouldnt be feeling tired right now ..
i should be HAPPPY AND CAREFREE RIGHT NOW
yes i should be that way ,but things turn out otherwise.. it seems that all my friends are busy .. either with their works/projects, if not their overseas trip/chalet .. or even their friends..
im so lonely can .. i so feel like meeting my online friend.. ahaha or even feel like going back to freeflow to work.. feel like going back to visit ice.. dempster spencer marvin peggy they all but i supposed they will be busy .. ah so i think the best deal is to meet ice up for lunch =D
i like her.. shes so easy going.. she likes me for who i am , and i like her for who she is too .. haha i just feel so comfortable with her.. maybe, i just click well with "virgo" ? or rather, she's nice.. and talkative... thats why we can be "close" ? haha
i wouldnt, call us close yet bah .. since we barely know each other for around 3 weeks? haha...
uh i think shes cute luh .. esp her smile .. its so sweet ..
enough of those.. uh back to my life...
i feel so stressed right now ..
im being so bothered with my damn PC now.. keep BLUE SCREENing -.- hais giving me "cold and hot treatment" -.-
i cant even enjoy my first week at home =( owalse have problems starting up my com . hais im so so so irritated by it actuallly ...
why isnt there someone to accompany me when i have all of the time now!
ah SHES NOT FREE AGAIN..
AGAINNNNNNNN , IN FACT ITS EVERYTIME..
sometimes.. i really do wonder... why does she have the time to go for netball training, and she dont have time to accompany me..
why does she choose to plan an outing with netballers or rather her THAT friend only, instead of treasuring this rare opportunity and ask me out .. or even , come my house .. or even .. ask me out to watch fireworks together ...
she didnt have that kind of intention at all! she .. never think of me at all..
i asked if she misses me .. she replied ya ..
and thats so .. fake .. i feel like shes just entertaining me.. just ... lying to me ,so that i will feel happier ..
would i be happy? maybe only for that very second..
yammil posted 8:44 AM
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Saturday, August 2, 2008
weird.. blogger dont allow me to bl og on my main blog..
anyway.. im feeling so complicated now.
im neither sad or happy..
im feeling rather relieved, yet having a tinge of sadness
PLUS im confused!
what do i really want?do i just want to be friend with her.. but can still be intimated with her..
OR should i just continue with our relationship..
meaning telling everyone else that i have a girlfriend..
OR should i just treat her as a normal friend(WHICH I CANTdo it =( )
MAN!!!!
=(
i need to really think about it .. someday!!!
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
yammil posted 10:15 AM
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